The One About College Loans

Happy Thanksgiving 2019!

While this won’t be another blog about “all things thanksgiving”, I would be remiss if I did not at the very least wish you and your family a wonderful thanksgiving season. I have been scouring through pages and pages of family gatherings and ‘friendsgiving’ celebrations on Facebook – the lunches, the kitchen countertops overflowing with food, the pecan pies and caramel cakes, the family pics of people eating around the same table. I love being a witness to your day.  For me, Thanksgiving was, and still is, a really special time of year because somehow people aren’t shy about reflecting on the important things in life: family who are near, friends who still bring smiles to our faces, the security of having a roof over our heads and turkey at the table. Even when life isn’t perfect, for that ONE MEAL, that one day on Thanksgiving, everyone has something to be thankful for. I love Thanksgiving.

One of the things I am thankful for is my love for learning and education.

Yes, I’m that nerd who liked school back in the day. I liked it so much that once I started college there was a time when my family (and I) thought I would never stop going to school. While I did go to college directly out of high school, I left my college studies after two years to pursue a career in sales. I chased the money is really what happened.

Then, after getting married and settling down in Tennessee, I decided to go back to college and complete my degree. That is when one degree led to another degree, which then led to a job at the college, which then led to promotion, and another promotion, and another promotion, and then… pursuit of yet another degree.

As a mom, I do advocate for my son to go to college after he graduates next year, and we spend hours on many occasions discussing how an additional degree after high school, whether that is a technical or a college degree, will lead to more opportunities later in life.

“Keep your grades up. You may have already been accepted into XYZ University, but they still look at your final GPA to determine your scholarship eligibility.”

“Apply at multiple colleges. Don’t put all our eggs into one basket. See who offers the most scholarship before you decide on which college to attend.”

And finally, “have you considered supplementing your college education with military benefits?”

Subtle, huh?

You see, as of today – now 18 years after earning a bachelor’s degree, 16 years after earning a master’s degree, and after seven years pursuing a doctorate (which has not been completed and is most likely not going to be completed), I am still paying for my education.  And on this day of thanksgiving 2019, instead of thinking about friends, family, all the things I’m thankful for, memories being made, and how we can make the most of our four-day weekend, the awesome passion project God has literally handed me over the last two years and how it will bring people from all over the world to know Christ – instead of all of those wonderful things to think of on this day, I am consumed with one thought:

How am I going to pay off these college loans?

Let me pause here while I get myself together.

I’m not talking about a small amount of money either. As I researched how other people did it, I have read testimony after testimony of paying back $1,700, $10,000, $20,000 even $60,000. I WISH that was my case. With the amount of college loans I have right now, I should not only have that unfinished doctorate degree, but I should also have a Juris Doctorate from a prestigious law school while also performing surgery with as a licensed and fully degreed medical doctor. Yes, that’s a lot of college loan money.

So how am I going to tackle this mountain of federally funded, forbearance-never-ending, interest-accumulating-at-a-rate-of-more-than-$643-every-month college loan debt?

How would YOU tackle it?

(Most blogs would have “7-13 Easy Steps” inserted right here at this point.)

I’m going to approach this the only way I know how:        I’m going to PIVOT.

Pray. Just as I prayed FIRST when discovering my son had been hurt in a lawnmower accident last year and would be healed regardless of the extent of his injuries (which happened), I am starting this battle with prayer. I believe that there are so many times when people (me included) want to see a miracle, but we don’t want to witness the suffering or the disappointment or the challenges that come before the miracle occurs. We seek God’s wisdom, healing, and perfect grace, but we aren’t willing to put ourselves in a situation that requires His perfect grace, healing or wisdom.

Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God.”

Mark 11:24 says “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

1 John 5:14 says “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”

Investigate.

If there was ever a time when I needed to put my Sherlock Holmes hat on, it is now. While I am not searching for clues, I am searching for solutions. Options. Not only am I preparing myself to correct the mistakes of my past, but I’m also preparing myself to learn how to correct and move past those mistakes so that my future – my son’s future – is not affected by my blind pursuit for learning.

Visualize.

There are some schools of thought that remind us that visualization is a worldly approach, and in some cases that very well could be true. I won’t be visualizing a windfall of six-figures or barrels of gold bars.  Nope.

Instead, I have set my mind on what God has shared with me regarding my future. He has a plan for me – one that does not include a mountain of college loan debt. His plans for me and my family actually NEVER included all of this college loan baggage, but where I am at right now is not a result of His arranging. It is the result of my choices, ones made by myself, for myself, with only one person in mind: me. (There’s a lesson here I can see, but that will be for another blog.)

Colossians 3:2 says “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”

Habakkuk 2:2-3 says “Then the LORD answered me and said, ‘record the vision and inscribe it on tablets, that the one who reads it may run. For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come. It will not delay.”

Oath.

Above all the planning and list-making and research on the best way to do this or that, I believe this right here – the O in my PIVOT, is an act that many women gloss over when we’re committing to something. I remember all the different ways I attempted to lose weight in my thirties and forties without lasting success. I remember the years I did not take the trip home to visit my family like I had promised. I remember all the times when I said that I would make sure we went to dinner where I wanted to eat since we had eaten where they wanted to eat every other time. And what happened? I compromised what I wanted, again, and we ended up going elsewhere for dinner.

We have no problems breaking promises to ourselves, but we keep those promises we make to everyone else.

Right?

Surely I am not the only one who will sacrifice what I want for the sake of those around me.

Proverbs 20:25 warns us “It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows.” (NIV)

As women, I think we all know the power words have once spoken. It’s why we teach our children to speak positively to one another of about themselves, so they will believe those words of affirmation. As professionals in the workplace, the one person in the office who is always negative with their outlook on projects or quarterly sales or with the new advertising pitch is viewed as toxic. As believers, even, we are encouraged to think of things that are “true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8 ESV).

Matthew 15:11 says “It is not goes what into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” (ESV)

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (ESV)

So here it is:

I don’t know how these college loans are going to be resolved. I don’t know what more I can do in the way of generating income to pay off this debt. And, I’m too old (and married with a teenager) to go live with relatives to save a house payment to put towards this mountain.

But I do know that when I ask, the Lord listens to me.

I do know that He has protected me through decades of selfishness and worldly living.

I do know that He gave me a son because He believed I would be a great mom, even though my plans were to never have children.

I do know that He is a God who believes in do-overs, and that He perfectly orchestrated and blessed my life as Mrs. Kemp.

I do know that He has provided for me and my family financially over the years, and we have never been tested beyond our capacity.

And, I absolutely know that He provided a safety net, Mr. Kemp, on the day our son had his accident which meant he arrived at the hospital in time for proper care with the best surgeon in the mid-South, at the best children’s hospital possibly in all of the United States, AND he healed my son’s foot beyond our expectations resulting in a healthy young adult with a lifetime of opportunities in front of him.

And since my God can and has done all these great things for me, even when I did not (and still don’t) deserve them, I am going to tackle this mountain of college loan debt. I am going to do whatever I can to move the mountain, and I will expect God to handle the rest.

Transform.

Finally, the last step in my journey to pay back these college loans – which will be a journey in itself – is to transform my mindset on how I think about money, how I prioritize my own wants AND needs as well as my family’s wants and needs, and how I use this 30-year lesson to help someone else make better decisions as they begin their own journey completing a college degree. This will be the biggest challenge for me, but I am trusting God’s faithfulness and the process.

As I go on this journey of college loan repayment, I will still do life. I will continue to work. I will continue to blog. I will continue to write the manuscript for The PIVOT Project. And, I will still be a wife, mother, friend, encourager to others, and I will still find ways to see this beautiful world.

Throughout my journey I will provide updates here and there. And, during the season of giving and thanksgiving, each year, I will maintain the commitment to provide a recap of the year’s progress toward climbing my mountain.

Proverbs 16:3 NIV says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

This Thanksgiving 2019 has been different when compared to past thanksgiving holidays. There weren’t many friends or family members at the house this year. There weren’t many dishes (compared to years past) to be cleaned afterward. There wasn’t one single football game or hint of parade. I did have, however, five full days of reflection, prayers, and quiet time that has renewed my focus. The same God who gave me chance after chance after chance is the same God who will train me to conquer my college loan debt.

Time to Pivot!

The PIVOT project is now being turned into a book, 40-day devotional, and PIVOT journal in 2020! For more information about how you can pre-order your copies, send Shelley an email with the Subject Line: I Want That Book!

Shelley now leads 40-Day PIVOT Challenge Groups which incorporate the PIVOT Routine. For more information about the next 40-Day PIVOT Challenge in 2020, go to Shelley’s Contact Page and send her an email.